Today is the 2nd anniversary of Leila's angel day. I try to think of it as a good day for her - the day she got the privilege of donning her wings and joining the angels in heaven. We'll do a little something for her this afternoon.
The reality, though, is that this is the 2nd anniversary of a really really really sad day and sad time for us. It starts in April every year. I start thinking about what we were doing two years ago. On april 8th we found out I was pregnant. A few weeks later we found out we were having twins. On July 7th we found out we were having girls and that they had TTTS. I hid my pregnancy planner from myself last year - couldn't bear to read my notes and know the exact dates of the laser surgery and Leila's blood transfusion. I was sort of a mess. I secretly cried ALL THE TIME.
This year has been different. The sadness is still there but definitely dulled. Dave asked me a few times "What's up? Why are you so quiet?" Then a friend asked me if she'd done something wrong because I was being so quiet. I honestly didn't know what my problem was. In retrospect I think it was just the summertime blues kicking in for me and I hadn't recognized it. We were diagnosed with TTTS on July 7th. So between July 7th and August 11th my mind sometimes flutters back to what was happening two years earlier. Was this the day we drove to Columbus to have laser surgery? Or was this the day we had one of those marathon hour-long ultrasounds?
I went with a friend to see Harry Potter a few days ago and literally cried the entire movie. I often cry at movies. Any time there's suspense and the characters feel stress...I cry. It's silly, I know. But this movie really got me. Dave saw the movie right after me and, when he came home, mentioned that he understood my crying toward the end but didn't really know why I cried at the beginning. To this I responded by sobbing and then felt stupid. Still crying and acting somewhat like a lunatic I left him to wonder what in the world was happening and ran to the back room to dig out my old pregnancy planner for the first time in a year and a half. It wasn't until then that I knew for sure - that was the day Leila had her blood transfusion. Just a few days before she died.
For the most part I've been fine. It even occurred to me once or twice that perhaps I should be a bit sadder. I haven't cried all that much this year. Of course we don't need to mope around like zombies all the time missing Leila to prove that we love her...but that little Mommy guilt slips in every once in a while. Maybe I should write about her more..talk about her more...think about her more. No. It's fine. She knows.
I have a very busy day planned and am anxious to see how it goes...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Attacked!
The Victim
The Defendant
After reviewing testimony from both sides the Jury finds the defendant NOT GUILTY of Assault in the 3rd degree. (They noted that the victim physically assaulted and injured the defendant and that the defendant's self-defensive tactics resulted in the victim's injuries.)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
10 Days
10 Days. That's how long it took for us to lose a contact. We haven't even had our two-week checkup to make sure they're fitting right and that she's seeing ok out of them. Aaaaargh! The really frustrating part is that I literally check her eyes every single time I pick up up (which is often) to make sure they're safely in place. It would be one thing if I just sort of forgot about them all day but I check ALL THE TIME.
Frustrating. Frustrating. Frustrating.
The good news is that they can get a new one in tomorrow. We'll go to the hospital, put her lenses in, and wait for the doctor to take a look at her. Oh, and the other good news is that we're back into the groove of easy insertion/removal. Whew!
Frustrating. Frustrating. Frustrating.
The good news is that they can get a new one in tomorrow. We'll go to the hospital, put her lenses in, and wait for the doctor to take a look at her. Oh, and the other good news is that we're back into the groove of easy insertion/removal. Whew!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Cross Country Camp - The Big Race!
Solana finished up a week of cross country camp last week. The coach running the camp is the Centerville H.S. coach. He had a huge group of elementary school age kids running for an hour and a half each morning during the week. He did a great job. The kids loved it! They pretty much ran the entire time but did it with fun games so that they enjoyed every second of it. The week ended with a 1 kilometer race on Friday afternoon. Parents came to cheer on their kids. There were white chalk lines and cones on the ground. And a cooler full of water and popsicles at the end. All of the kids were given a race medal at the end and the top five girls and boys each won a trophy.
They had to show up 20 minutes before the race to do stretches and warmups. This picture was taken right after the warmups. The kids were sent back to their parents for one last kiss and drink of water before the race.
Doing exactly as she's told. Ahem.
Before the race I was chatting with a couple of my friends whose daughters also attended camp. I asked if their girls were excited about the race. One says, "Oh yeah! Mine says she's gonna win!." We giggle appreciatively at her enthusiasm. The other mom, "Mine was really worried that she may come in last." We felt bad for her nervousness. What did Solana say? Well, when Dave and I told her to do a good job she replied, "It doesn't matter who wins or loses. It's all about having fun! As long as we have fun it's ok and it doesn't matter what place we come in." There's Solana for you. I'm pretty sure she was just regurgitating what the coach told them in preparation for the race but she definitely took it to heart. I think she has the right attitude. Nobody is ever going to pressure this kid to be more competitive than she wants! I guess I need to give up my hopes of being a super stage mom, huh? Just kidding.
To tell the truth I kind of worried she might just forget the whole running thing and stroll along the path ready to tell-off anyone who tried to make her run. I could just picture it....Solana's happily strolling along the race route looking at birds in the trees. We're trying to cheer her on, "Come on Solana! You can do it! It's just a little bit farther. Come on and run. Yay Solana!" And her just smiling at us. "Oh Mommy and Daddy. It's OK. As long as I'm having fun I don't mind coming in last. It doesn't matter."
Fortunately, my little scenario did not play out. The race began and all the kids took off. My first thought, "Oh my. They're running so FAST!" I wondered how many of them would poop out halfway. As the kids ran past I was trying to keep my camera pointed and also look for Solana. I worried I'd missed her but then I caught her. She and her friend, Sophia were pulling up the rear right behind her other friend, Anna. They were running their little hearts out and Solana had a big ol' smile on her face! It was so cool!
The race course was in the figure 8. They started on the right side of the bottom of the 8 and finished the bottom loop first. As they crossed the middle they headed up a steep hill. Then they did the loop at the top. Here's a picture of Solana finishing up the top loop. She was still smiling!
As she crossed the center for the second time she had to go back down the steep hill. This is where everything almost fell apart. She picked up too much speed on the way down and hit the ground hard right at the bottom. I was videotaping and caught it on tape. I wanted to stay back so as not to create more drama but it was obvious she had no intention of getting up. Just as I ran over to talk to her some of the high school helpers got to her and offered to run the rest of the race with her. She wasn't hurt and she got up (still upset) but they were just what she needed. She started running again!
She was still on the verge of tears at the end but I was so glad she finished and I think she was too.
Little brother Adam and Little Sister Chloe snuck into this picture of racers, Anna and Solana.
Solana and Sophia didn't want to smile so Dave told them, "Don't smile. Whatever you do do not smile." It always works for Solana. Apparently, Sophia took him literally.
They had to show up 20 minutes before the race to do stretches and warmups. This picture was taken right after the warmups. The kids were sent back to their parents for one last kiss and drink of water before the race.
Solana with her friend, Sophia. I had to take this picture quickly so that she could have plenty of water drinking time before the race. Question. Why is everything the coach says taken to heart and everything I say completely blown off? Just curious...
Doing exactly as she's told. Ahem.
Before the race I was chatting with a couple of my friends whose daughters also attended camp. I asked if their girls were excited about the race. One says, "Oh yeah! Mine says she's gonna win!." We giggle appreciatively at her enthusiasm. The other mom, "Mine was really worried that she may come in last." We felt bad for her nervousness. What did Solana say? Well, when Dave and I told her to do a good job she replied, "It doesn't matter who wins or loses. It's all about having fun! As long as we have fun it's ok and it doesn't matter what place we come in." There's Solana for you. I'm pretty sure she was just regurgitating what the coach told them in preparation for the race but she definitely took it to heart. I think she has the right attitude. Nobody is ever going to pressure this kid to be more competitive than she wants! I guess I need to give up my hopes of being a super stage mom, huh? Just kidding.
To tell the truth I kind of worried she might just forget the whole running thing and stroll along the path ready to tell-off anyone who tried to make her run. I could just picture it....Solana's happily strolling along the race route looking at birds in the trees. We're trying to cheer her on, "Come on Solana! You can do it! It's just a little bit farther. Come on and run. Yay Solana!" And her just smiling at us. "Oh Mommy and Daddy. It's OK. As long as I'm having fun I don't mind coming in last. It doesn't matter."
Fortunately, my little scenario did not play out. The race began and all the kids took off. My first thought, "Oh my. They're running so FAST!" I wondered how many of them would poop out halfway. As the kids ran past I was trying to keep my camera pointed and also look for Solana. I worried I'd missed her but then I caught her. She and her friend, Sophia were pulling up the rear right behind her other friend, Anna. They were running their little hearts out and Solana had a big ol' smile on her face! It was so cool!
The race course was in the figure 8. They started on the right side of the bottom of the 8 and finished the bottom loop first. As they crossed the middle they headed up a steep hill. Then they did the loop at the top. Here's a picture of Solana finishing up the top loop. She was still smiling!
As she crossed the center for the second time she had to go back down the steep hill. This is where everything almost fell apart. She picked up too much speed on the way down and hit the ground hard right at the bottom. I was videotaping and caught it on tape. I wanted to stay back so as not to create more drama but it was obvious she had no intention of getting up. Just as I ran over to talk to her some of the high school helpers got to her and offered to run the rest of the race with her. She wasn't hurt and she got up (still upset) but they were just what she needed. She started running again!
She was still on the verge of tears at the end but I was so glad she finished and I think she was too.
Little brother Adam and Little Sister Chloe snuck into this picture of racers, Anna and Solana.
Solana and Sophia didn't want to smile so Dave told them, "Don't smile. Whatever you do do not smile." It always works for Solana. Apparently, Sophia took him literally.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Mexico - Vacation Finally Arrives!
After a week in Houston my parents, the girls, and I flew to Cancun. We checked in on the computer the night before and were thrilled to all get seats together! Solana listened to Laura Ingalls Wilder's Farmer Boy for most of the trip and colored for the rest. Chloe drank a bottle (I travled with a bottle warmer in the diaper bag and used the outlet at the bathroom sink right before we boarded) and fell asleep about 20 minutes after takeoff. It's pretty darn uncomfortable holding a sleeping baby for an hour and a half on the airplane. But I'll tell you what - it's easier than entertaining one!
As we flew we wondered out loud what Dave was up to. He arrived in Mexico about 4 hours before us so we guessed he was laying by the pool drinking something icy and alcoholic.
When we arrived in Mexico we found ourselves at the end of a 45 minute line at immigration. Blech. That was kind of boring but Chloe was pretty patient in the stroller and Solana made friends in line. Then we got our bags no problem.
The next step: getting to the resort. Our transportation from the airport to the resort is always set up by our resort. My memory is that, in the past, they sent us an email with the name of the transportation company taking us there. The email usually includes a warning to only travel with the company that they've contracted. They will not pay for other companies or taxis to bring us to the resort. My Dad informed me a few days eariler that Dave had set up transportation for us all. As we waited in line for customs I realized that I didn't ever see the information about our transportation so I asked my Dad if he brought it. "Dave didn't send me any information. He just told me he'd set it up. No. I don't have the name of any company. It'll be fine."
Now, in order to understand my reaction to this you need to know a little bit about my traveling history. Our first three trips to Mexico I carried a small three ring binder - with labeled dividers - and plastic page protectors. In it I included: all the email confirmation pages setting up the trip, contacts at the resort, travel documents, packing checklists, wedding checklists (for our wedding and then, my sister's wedding), etc. I've lightened up a little bit each trip but this trip I was traveling without a husband and with two children. I focused on the girls and pretty much left travel plans up to everyone else. Sure we could have just paid for a taxi if we couldn't figure out which company to take but I didn't think of that. I just felt that panicky stomach-dropping feeling of an organizing freak suddenly finding themselves without a trusty three-ring binder.
Upon exiting baggage claim area I told Solana to hold on tight to the stroller and we quickly marched past the barrage of travel agents trying to get our business and out the door. As soon as we walked through the double sliding doors we were greeted by a sea of people holding up signs for their various transportation companies. There were probably about a hundred people. I literally, no kid you, said to myself out loud, "We are so screwed." Then I looked 30 degrees to the right (I'm choked up now just thinking about it. This couldn't have been more dramatic.) and who do I see - DA-dada-DAAAAA! The most handsome man ever drinking a Mexican beer and holding a suitcase. It's DAVE! Ahhhhh! I don't remember the last time I smiled so big with my mouth wide open! Solana ran to him yelling, "Daddy!" and poor little Chloe was strapped into the stroller. She clapped her little hands as quickly as possible and with all her might!
We belong to the Palace Resorts and planned to stay at the Moon Palace. Turns out Dave wasn't happy with the location or design of the suites there. The suites had three levels with unprotected step downs that would not be ideal for Chloe in her walker. And the two rooms he checked out had horrible views. So he had them move our reservation to the Aventura Cove Palace. And then he came to the airport to meet us since we weren't aware of this change.
We finally got to the resort and checked in. The guy at the front desk made a Pink Panther balloon for Solana. And then she chased the bellhop.
We were so happy to be at our home away from home! We love these resorts. Dave and I have spent 6 weeks at them since we were married and this was my parents' third.
As we unpacked Dave and I realized we didn't hear any noise coming from the rest of the suite and wondered where everyone was. Here's where we found them - a little travel weary and ready to relax!
Chloe checked out the dining room. This suite was perfect. Our room connected to the foyer. From the foyer there were double doors leading to the living room and then dining room. The little door on the right side of this picture led to the kitchenette. From the living room there was another door that led to my parents' room. This was all one smooth floor with no bumps or transitions of any kind. It was perfect! Chloe had a good 1000 square feet to cruise around on.
We ordered room service the first night because we just wanted to lay around and relax. We love all-inclusive. All the food and drinks are included. Even room service and pool side beverages. Ahhh. It's dreamy.
Dave's helping Solana at the kid station.
Chloe's big form of communication at this time: clapping. She clapped for anything that interested her, made her happy, or she liked. Apparently, she likes the restaurant we chose for breakfast.
Dave and Chloe decided to do a little dancing in the lobby after breakfast.
Happily stuffed and ready to vacation!
My Mom loves to shop. There was no holding her back from the gift shop on our first vacation day. Unfortunately for her, this is not a passion that I share. But at least I've provided her a granddaughter to bond with in this way. :-)
As we flew we wondered out loud what Dave was up to. He arrived in Mexico about 4 hours before us so we guessed he was laying by the pool drinking something icy and alcoholic.
When we arrived in Mexico we found ourselves at the end of a 45 minute line at immigration. Blech. That was kind of boring but Chloe was pretty patient in the stroller and Solana made friends in line. Then we got our bags no problem.
The next step: getting to the resort. Our transportation from the airport to the resort is always set up by our resort. My memory is that, in the past, they sent us an email with the name of the transportation company taking us there. The email usually includes a warning to only travel with the company that they've contracted. They will not pay for other companies or taxis to bring us to the resort. My Dad informed me a few days eariler that Dave had set up transportation for us all. As we waited in line for customs I realized that I didn't ever see the information about our transportation so I asked my Dad if he brought it. "Dave didn't send me any information. He just told me he'd set it up. No. I don't have the name of any company. It'll be fine."
Now, in order to understand my reaction to this you need to know a little bit about my traveling history. Our first three trips to Mexico I carried a small three ring binder - with labeled dividers - and plastic page protectors. In it I included: all the email confirmation pages setting up the trip, contacts at the resort, travel documents, packing checklists, wedding checklists (for our wedding and then, my sister's wedding), etc. I've lightened up a little bit each trip but this trip I was traveling without a husband and with two children. I focused on the girls and pretty much left travel plans up to everyone else. Sure we could have just paid for a taxi if we couldn't figure out which company to take but I didn't think of that. I just felt that panicky stomach-dropping feeling of an organizing freak suddenly finding themselves without a trusty three-ring binder.
Upon exiting baggage claim area I told Solana to hold on tight to the stroller and we quickly marched past the barrage of travel agents trying to get our business and out the door. As soon as we walked through the double sliding doors we were greeted by a sea of people holding up signs for their various transportation companies. There were probably about a hundred people. I literally, no kid you, said to myself out loud, "We are so screwed." Then I looked 30 degrees to the right (I'm choked up now just thinking about it. This couldn't have been more dramatic.) and who do I see - DA-dada-DAAAAA! The most handsome man ever drinking a Mexican beer and holding a suitcase. It's DAVE! Ahhhhh! I don't remember the last time I smiled so big with my mouth wide open! Solana ran to him yelling, "Daddy!" and poor little Chloe was strapped into the stroller. She clapped her little hands as quickly as possible and with all her might!
We belong to the Palace Resorts and planned to stay at the Moon Palace. Turns out Dave wasn't happy with the location or design of the suites there. The suites had three levels with unprotected step downs that would not be ideal for Chloe in her walker. And the two rooms he checked out had horrible views. So he had them move our reservation to the Aventura Cove Palace. And then he came to the airport to meet us since we weren't aware of this change.
We finally got to the resort and checked in. The guy at the front desk made a Pink Panther balloon for Solana. And then she chased the bellhop.
We were so happy to be at our home away from home! We love these resorts. Dave and I have spent 6 weeks at them since we were married and this was my parents' third.
As we unpacked Dave and I realized we didn't hear any noise coming from the rest of the suite and wondered where everyone was. Here's where we found them - a little travel weary and ready to relax!
Chloe checked out the dining room. This suite was perfect. Our room connected to the foyer. From the foyer there were double doors leading to the living room and then dining room. The little door on the right side of this picture led to the kitchenette. From the living room there was another door that led to my parents' room. This was all one smooth floor with no bumps or transitions of any kind. It was perfect! Chloe had a good 1000 square feet to cruise around on.
We ordered room service the first night because we just wanted to lay around and relax. We love all-inclusive. All the food and drinks are included. Even room service and pool side beverages. Ahhh. It's dreamy.
The next morning we headed off to breakfast. My Dad loves breakfast.
My Daddy
My Daddy
Dave's helping Solana at the kid station.
Chloe's big form of communication at this time: clapping. She clapped for anything that interested her, made her happy, or she liked. Apparently, she likes the restaurant we chose for breakfast.
Dave and Chloe decided to do a little dancing in the lobby after breakfast.
Happily stuffed and ready to vacation!
My Mom loves to shop. There was no holding her back from the gift shop on our first vacation day. Unfortunately for her, this is not a passion that I share. But at least I've provided her a granddaughter to bond with in this way. :-)
To be continued...
Nature Camp 2011
Solana attended nature camp through our local Parks and Recreation department this summer. She did one last year and loved it. It's one week long and 3 hours a day. There are several to choose from. This year we put her into one called Water Odyssey. They spent a lot of time in the creek and stream every day. I had to bring a towel and change of clothes to pick her up every day because she was pretty much soaked up to the waist with creek water. I also had to spray her with sunscreen and bug spray when dropping her off. We didn't want to pick up any ticks now, did we?
On the second day she won an award for catching the most crawdads! And that's after she gave some of the ones she caught to friends who didn't catch any.
On the second day she won an award for catching the most crawdads! And that's after she gave some of the ones she caught to friends who didn't catch any.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
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