Pacifier

Solana and Chloe both took a pacifier to get to sleep. I kept a strict rule that the pacifier may only be used at bed time. But they really loved it at bed time. When Solana turned two I explained to her that she was a big girl and big girls don't use pacifiers. She agreed that she was a big girl! We then collected up all the pacifiers, marched downstairs, and threw them in the outside garbage can. (I wanted to make sure I wasn't tempted to sneak one out in case of emergency.) I was working full-time and woke her up at 6:30 every morning. We were out the door to daycare a few minutes before 7:00. I was filled with dread and just knew that the first few days/nights would be awful. Solana never asked for her pacifier again. Not one single time. It was the craziest thing!

Chloe went to the dentist last week and he talked about her narrow bite. It's partially because of her super-duper high arch. The shape of the roof of her mouth was actually affected by the breathing tube she had down her throat for 80 days. The tube went into her mouth and pressed up against the roof of her tiny soft still-forming mouth. Poor thing. But, he said, we need to get rid of the pacifier asap because it can exacerbate the problem. Like, immediately. I mentally put my fingers in my ears and started singing. I physically smiled and nodded appearing appropriately embarrassed.

I knew it was coming. I knew I should have taken it away long ago. I should be able to use the experience with Solana as encouragement but I find myself terrified again. Chloe is most certainly NOT Solana. The other day she wanted to get into the coat closet and I told her "no." She laid on her stomach on the floor and kicked her feet into the ground while crying. Seriously! She literally did that. Chloe has WAY more of a temper and, in my opinion, a lot more fight than Solana ever displayed. Solana was ridiculously obedient. True I don't have to go to work anymore so a few bad nights should be easier on both of us but I still find myself dreading the removal of the pacifier. She asks for it, you know. Every time I lay her down, "Pahupier?" How can I say "no" to that?

I told the dentist that we just took away her bottle. Maybe I'll give her another week or so before taking away her pacifier. Am I just stalling? Totally. Am I weak and a coward. Yes. But I suppose I can live with that...at least for another week or so. Then I'll find my courage. In a week or so. I'll do it. I will.do.it!