Friday, January 21, 2011

Poopie Contact...Literally

Last Saturday morning started out with an unexpected speed bump. As I was putting Chloe's contact in her eye I dropped it! Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say that Chloe punched it out of my hand. She's learning a thing called willpower and, while it's a great developmental stride, it does affect contact placement and removal. There's a tad bit more wrestling involved these days...

You should see us. Chloe laying on her back. Me next to her with my right leg across her chest and pinning down her left arm. My other leg pinning down her right arm. Both hands prying her eye open and simultaneously place her contact in her eye. One of my less than graceful moments. And somehow - with all those body parts in play Chloe managed to free her left arm and punch the contact out of my hand. I looked around but couldn't find it. And OF COURSE this was the one time I didn't pull all the sheets back to work on a clear flat surface.

Dave came to help look and as we were searching the sheets and Chloe's pajamas she gagged. I immediately sat her up and finger swept her mouth as far back as I could. Nothing. Then she gagged again and swallowed. I was a mess. "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening."

I was thinking about the fact that it was Saturday and, once again, we found ourselves without a backup contact. She would be blind all weekend. I called the optical shop to find out if they were open. Her backup lens had just arrived the day before and they're only open one Saturday a month. Then Dave snapped at me, "Don't call the optical shop! Call her doctor. She swallowed a foreign object!" Then a flood of fear swept over me. Of course! What was I thinking?!?! All the sudden I envisioned the hard contact trying to make it through her small intestines, getting stuck on the scar tissue from her formerly ruptured bowel (you know, the one at 19 days old that they told us she probably wouldn't survive), and ripping it open. We called the pediatrician and spoke to the nurse who would talk to the doctor and call back. I considered the castor oil in my pantry as we waited. Shouldn't we make her throw up? The doctor called back and said it should pass just fine. Don't feed her anything unusual.

Saturday came and went. Sam and Sophie were here to distract us from worrying. Sunday she had two BM's and voila! The contact was in the second one! Chloe seemed just fine and the wait was over . Yahooo!!! I'd never been so happy to be covered in poop in my life. WHAT a drama!

The following picture is for documentation purposes only. I want to have this when I print this into a book so Chloe and Solana can't say, "No way! You did NOT do that!" It's pretty gross so you probably don't want to scroll down and look. Just warning you... (I'll even thoughtfully make the thumbnail small just in case you accidentally scroll past it. That's how considerate I am.)


Megan B ♥ said...

OH my gosh, I am DYING! You did NOT just post that! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

And to that, all I have to say is: wow, I though MY life was glamorous :)

The Hillbergs said...

I'm just glad to see that you at least wore gloves for the dirty work. That's a photo for the baby book for sure, right next to the photo of the first smile.

meredith said...

You crack me up!

Audrey said...

LOL!!!! I just read this aloud to Clint and we are both DYING!!! Mom of the year!!