We went out to dinner Friday night and I said/thought/felt something that I regret. We were seated right next to a big table of about 10. It looked like two sets of grandparents, parents, and children. Among the children were two little girls - identical twins that looked to be about the same age as Chloe. The mother was seated in between the two high chairs.
My first thought, "Oh great. Here we go." And then one of the twins started screeching and throwing a little tantrum in her seat. The mom, who looked like she just left an important business meeting, was at a complete loss for what to do. For a moment, I wondered if it was perhaps, an aunt...? Then the other twin got in on the action and they sort of took turns making dinner as unpleasant as possible for the mom.
Did I feel sympathy for her. Nope. I felt evilly satisfied. I sort of enjoyed her misery. At one point I noticed Dave look over at them and I thought I saw a look of longing cross his face. I snidely remarked, "It's easier being around twins when they're being totally bratty."
He smiled politely but did not comment. I have no idea what he thought of my comment but I know what he should have thought. It kind of sucks to get caught being ugly. I know that was me protecting myself. But perhaps I can take care of myself other ways than being mean to others who have what I lost. After all, I graduated elementary school years ago...
5 comments:
hugs
You weren't mean to them directly, and I agree, it was about self-protection. I would have thought the same thing - or worse. Zev is around twins way more than I am, he has to teach them or perform in front of them all the time. Don't know how he does it. Give yourself a break. And if you find a better coping mechanism, please enlighten me. I tend to walk away (avoidance) or stare, which is just weird.
Wow. Your insight into this shows how far you've come. You have a right to think whatever you want. I'm sure Dave understands. Everyone heals in their own way. I love you, sis! Muuuuuuwah!
I tend to pretend they aren't there and go out of my way to ignore any twin comments. It's kind of ridiculous, but it works for me.
Yes it was weakness. And yes it was catty. BUT IT'S OKAY. You're allowed. And it's not like you walked up to the mom and said "Hey lady, can't you get a handle on your kids?? Don't you know you're blessed and you should take a little better care of them??" THAT would have been nasty. ;)
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